Articles on this topic have been popping up a lot lately so I thought it was about time I said my piece.
Let me give you a scenario: A woman walked into a bathroom to find another woman on the phone engaged in a heated conversation. She wanted to leave to find an emptier bathroom but this was the closest one and she really needs to wash her hands. She does so while mumbling "sorry, sorry, sorry" then exits quickly.
What's wrong with this picture? Well first of all it's a PUBLIC bathroom, a PUBLIC space that is not owned by the idviduals that use it. Furthermore, it is the woman inside the restroom that should have said sorry and found a more suitable space to have a conversation.
As women we get into scenarios like this on a daily basis; weather its using the office microwave before someone else, speaking to someone who was "working", walking in between people who take up to much space, visiting your professor during office hours, coughing, chewing, crunching, sneezing, clicking a pen and even BREATHING. You name it and we've probably apologized for it. Why do we constanly apologize for existing in a space that happens to be occupied by other people? Think about the last time you heard a man apologize for sneezing or coughing. That's right, it never happens.
Now now, I do not want to make this a men vs women situation because in truth I don't think men would care or even notice if we stopped apologizing for everything. INFACT I think it would help many relationships. By apologizing for small things women are discrediting the meaning behind their honest apologies.
Saying sorry is supposed to be followed by ACTION, action put in place to insure that you do not make the same "mistake" over again. Well, washing your hands, warming up food, asking a question, visiting your professor and sneezing ARE NOT mistakes. Therefore an apology should not follow.
If you are wondering why we have such a strong need to say sorry for any distruption we may cause I have a theory: Politeness. A woman's politeness is one of her more delicate, sutable and attractive charecteristics and men generally drift towards polite women. Being confrontational usually puts a woman outside of her comfort zone and makes those awkward monets tense. For instance in the microwave scenario saying sorry allows those first few awakrd momnents and thoughts of annoyance and impatience to pass by quicker and causes the person waiting to offer some type of consolidation such as "That's alright." or "Its fine." which in turn gives you YOUR piece of mind. So there you have it: women apologize more for self profit then politeness!
Nevertheless, saying sorry for existing makes women appear weak, unsure of our self and our decisions which we are NOT. So the next time you cough, sneeze, cry or laugh loudly in the middle of class try not to apologize because, are you really even sorry?
I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions!xx
Over the summer I had the opportunity to go work with my uncle who happens to be the director of admissions at Monroe college. And take it from those people are BUSY but they get their work done in some very creative ways. Here are just a few of the things I learned on my trip. More to come later enjoy!
1. High school seniors stress to much about the future:
There has never been a truer statement than this. We're constantly stressing about the future so much that we let the present skate by us. Now I understand is not completely our fault because the schools we are taught and raised in only ever talk about the future. How many times have you heard the phrase "Well, in college..." from one of your teachers.
2.Diversity means different things to different people:
I am looking for a truly diverse campus where no race is exceedingly bigger than the other. However, most college campuses will base their diversity off of the NUMBER of nationalities represented. NOT their percentages.
3.A city campus is still a campus:
There happens to be this weird notion that a city campus is not a "campus" when in fact it is! City campuses are still loaded with building ONLY students can access. And you are not in any higher risk of danger by going to a city campus rather than a suburban campus. In fact city campuses have even higher security detail to give students a piece of mind.
4.Competition is steeper than ever :
It is important to remember that you are competing with kids from all over the world to get into school. Even if you just applying to small state schools it is never okay to let you guard down.
I will be honest here, this notion both amazes and frustrates me. On one hand it is amazing that our schools are so good that people come far and wide to study full time here. But on the other hand I now have to compete with the WORLDS children for placement in a STATE school in MY state.
5.Your essay will be read, word for word.
Yes, I know amazing right they actually read the essay. So make it unique. Refrain from usuing generic essays at all cost, college admissions directors can smell a generic esay from a mile away. A generic essay says you are not commited or even really interested in this college on and individual level but I promise there re 1,000s of other kids that are.
6.Don't be afraid to leave home:
Pick a city that speaks to you and your future career. The best job opputrnities and networking options start with your college. Take out an annoying middle man by going to school where you want to work some day.
7.Your High School transcript will never disappear:
Make no mistake they do not burn your high school transrpit. Your transcript and ESPECIALLY senior year grades will be used to determine your elegibility for abroad trips and internship oppurtunties if you chose to take part in those freshman or sophomore year. Your high school transcript will also be used for transfer admissions if you choose to switch schools. DONT SLACK NOW.
8.Coed dormitories are the new black:
COED dorms are very popular now. It will do you a load of good to get used to that idea going into room assignments so you not limit your options. In certain schools you cannot get a suite style bedroom if you don't comfortable with a coed floor
9.Social media is your friend:
If your social media is a fun, mature and ladylike representation of who you are then congrats! You just gained a powerful ally in the college admissions process! If you really want a school to notice you try adding a small hashtag to the bottom of your pictures and eventually someone will make the connection. Ex: #PantherBound
10.Social Media can be your enemy:
If there is ONE thing I could stress is PLEASE CLEAN UP your social media pages before you even THINK about applying to a university! They do check! and they will see every sordid thing you ever did!
11.You are always being compared:
You are compared to others in your school your county and overall your state. Most colleges use a tool called SchoolDigger.com Being in a good school a hard school does not excuse a low GPA in fact it's quite the opposite.
12.If you can get one interviews are saving saving grace:
INTERVIEW INTERVIEW INTERVIEW. When you go in for an interview you are no longer asset of social security numbers on a page, you are a person, a smile, a personality. If you have a unique presence an interview can only be positive in your admissions process.
Don't be afraid to apply to Your reach school. In fact don't be afraid to apply to many reach schools stranger things have happened and someone else will get your spot if you never try
A modest application is a boring application. Colleges may be big but they're not as big as their applications stacks. You need to show them why they need you
15.Think about your major:
If you can declare your major and a program you are interested in please do. It shows colleges that you will never become a waste of space because you already know what you're doing and where you're going.
16.Do NOT mess up Senior Year:
Do everything you possibly can in your senior year get an internship, volunteer, get a job, join a few clubs or even start one of your own,
17.GET A JOB:
A job is a great selling point for a college admissions office because it's shows discipline. Try to keep the same job all year. Stick it out and refrain from quiiting even if Forever 21 is hiring again. Work hard and that will be your best recommendation letter yet
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There comes an awkward period in high school where as a child you become too expensive for anyone to pay for. Allowance is not cutting it, your parents won’t pay for your gas money and you don't have enough to hang out with your friends. This usually means that it’s time to get a job. Unfortunately, in high school it seems like an almost impossible feat. Here are some basic reasons your efforts may fail and solutions to those problems.
Hey guys, tell me what you think?