Articles on this topic have been popping up a lot lately so I thought it was about time I said my piece.
Let me give you a scenario: A woman walked into a bathroom to find another woman on the phone engaged in a heated conversation. She wanted to leave to find an emptier bathroom but this was the closest one and she really needs to wash her hands. She does so while mumbling "sorry, sorry, sorry" then exits quickly.
What's wrong with this picture? Well first of all it's a PUBLIC bathroom, a PUBLIC space that is not owned by the idviduals that use it. Furthermore, it is the woman inside the restroom that should have said sorry and found a more suitable space to have a conversation.
As women we get into scenarios like this on a daily basis; weather its using the office microwave before someone else, speaking to someone who was "working", walking in between people who take up to much space, visiting your professor during office hours, coughing, chewing, crunching, sneezing, clicking a pen and even BREATHING. You name it and we've probably apologized for it. Why do we constanly apologize for existing in a space that happens to be occupied by other people? Think about the last time you heard a man apologize for sneezing or coughing. That's right, it never happens.
Now now, I do not want to make this a men vs women situation because in truth I don't think men would care or even notice if we stopped apologizing for everything. INFACT I think it would help many relationships. By apologizing for small things women are discrediting the meaning behind their honest apologies.
Saying sorry is supposed to be followed by ACTION, action put in place to insure that you do not make the same "mistake" over again. Well, washing your hands, warming up food, asking a question, visiting your professor and sneezing ARE NOT mistakes. Therefore an apology should not follow.
If you are wondering why we have such a strong need to say sorry for any distruption we may cause I have a theory: Politeness. A woman's politeness is one of her more delicate, sutable and attractive charecteristics and men generally drift towards polite women. Being confrontational usually puts a woman outside of her comfort zone and makes those awkward monets tense. For instance in the microwave scenario saying sorry allows those first few awakrd momnents and thoughts of annoyance and impatience to pass by quicker and causes the person waiting to offer some type of consolidation such as "That's alright." or "Its fine." which in turn gives you YOUR piece of mind. So there you have it: women apologize more for self profit then politeness!
Nevertheless, saying sorry for existing makes women appear weak, unsure of our self and our decisions which we are NOT. So the next time you cough, sneeze, cry or laugh loudly in the middle of class try not to apologize because, are you really even sorry?
I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions!xx
Hey guys, tell me what you think?